If you are a couple, initially you came together because you liked one another. Eventually, you grew to love one another. Things happen in the course of life that can fracture a relationship and cause people to grow apart, or at least feel that they are.
If you have begun to question whether a relationship is worth holding on to and trying to repair versus just letting it go, being alone or starting over again, no one can answer that for you, but if love remains couples therapy may be an option.
Couples therapy offers the two involved parties a neutral middle ground. Someone impartial who understands relationship dynamics who can mediate and avoid fighting while making progress in communication.
Miscommunication can happen in relationships when interpersonal skills aren’t fully developed. Trust can be broken, criticism, negativity, making mountains out of molehills, burying issues rather than discussing them, infidelity, even lack of physical touch and intimacy can result in pushing the couple farther apart.
The goal is to work towards compromise, understanding, and a middle ground of understanding where the mediation is no longer needed and you can get back to being a fully functional couple.
Monarch Wellness offers sessions geared towards strengthening your relationships, reconnecting with your partner, and re-energizing your marriage. Private sessions are available and classes and workshops are also highly recommended as doing activities together increases and encourages bonding.
Visit http://monarchwellness.net/sessions/connected-couple-program/ to learn more!
Children do best in a structured environment but life almost never follows the path we expect. Normality and schedule tend to go off track when life throws you a curve ball. It is inevitable that at some point something unplanned in the adult realm will spill over and affect the children in the family.
Divorce – No matter what the family situation a divorce to a child is traumatic. Even though the child is not at fault, and parents do their best to explain, children, especially young ones simply do not understand. The loss is felt deeply.
Relocation – Moving to a new town, a new school or a new state uproots the child from everything they are familiar with – their house, their yard, their school, and friends. It can be a shock to the system and not always easy to reacclimate.
New marriage – When a previously divorced parent decides to remarry, adding a new step-parent can be a lot for kids to handle. The introduction of a new, now permanent, authority figure is not always easily accepted.
New step brothers and sisters – This is an especially difficult addition if previously an only child. When they are used to getting all of the attention and suddenly have to share mom or dad’s time and attention, jealousy can rear its head. Personalities may not always mesh and there is certainly an adjustment period.
Adoption – Adoption can be tricky. It is a joyous event in a family’s life, bringing in a child to love and become a part of the family. It is, however, a huge adjustment for other kids already in the family as well as for the adoptive child if they are at an age of cognizance.
The death of a parent – This is without a doubt the hardest life change a child can face. Death to a small child is an abstract concept. They just know the parent is no longer there and they feel the loss to their core. This can also go for the death a beloved pet who is also considered a member of the family.
No matter the reason for the upheaval, children, when knocked off of their normal schedule and routine can feel the stress. Kids also tend to be very in tune with their parents and siblings. They feed off of the emotional levels coming off of them. If you are stressed out and anxious, they tend to be as well.
Teaching kids to deal with change and life’s stress is invaluable as they grow and become adults. Monarch Wellness offers classes and private sessions specializing in self–awareness, self–esteem, dealing with life issues and emotional stress. Please visit www. monarchwellness.net or call (239) 231-3208 to learn more or schedule.
Releasing people from your life who are not good for you is a vital piece in being a well balanced happy emotionally healthy person. It is, however, not easy on any level a lot of the time.
How do you determine if someone is toxic to your life?
- Toxic people create chaos in other people’s lives on a pretty consistent basis
- They expect that you will deal with their drama without question – their problems are your problems
- Your life gets put on the back burner in order to try and help them
- They seem to switch from loving to angry easily and seemingly without reason. They are very unpredictable
- Toxic people are manipulative. Their desired outcome is what matters to them
- They refuse or are unable to admit responsibility for things that go wrong in their lives, always blaming others
- They make you prove yourself to them over and over ie. “If you loved me… If you were really my friend…”
- They never or rarely apologize even when blatantly wrong OR they do so in order to manipulate and continue right on with the same behavior anyway
- They expect you to be there for every crisis but when you need them, the support isn’t available
- Toxic people tend to exaggerate and draw you in
- They are only supportive of you when it fits their own agenda
None of this is to say that these people do not love you in their own way or that you do not love them. Love, however, is not a valid reason to trap yourself in an emotionally draining or even abusive relationship or friendship.
We often mean to help these toxic friends or loved ones when what we are really doing is enabling the behaviors. Setting boundaries is healthy. If they do care about you, they will respect them.
Loving yourself means taking care of yourself. Sometimes taking care of yourself means saying no to other people’s drama, taking a step back and putting some distance between yourself and the other person. It doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you no longer love them. It means that it is time to value yourself and focus on your own life.
www.monarchwellness.net offers many groups as well as private classes and sessions to help get you focused on self-healing and wellness.
Society, in general, is spending less and less time outdoors. We are surrounded by technology and spend hour upon hour staring at the screens on our devices. It is important for our wellbeing to pull ourselves from that hyper focused state and take the time to set them aside, stand up, stretch and go outside.
Spending time in nature has numerous benefits including:
Spending time in nature can help your body heal itself. Spending time outside can help you to reconnect, mind – body, and soul. Fresh air, increased movement, feelings of relaxation all can encourage healing from illness and disease starting within rather than reaching for medication. This can help your body recalibrate and attune naturally.
Activities as simple as taking a walk in the woods are shown to lower cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Spending time in nature also helps to boost your immune function and responses as well as reduce blood pressure.
Give your creativity a boost
Sometimes you just need to step away from a problem or project in order to really gain some perspective. Get out of the office and stop thinking about work for a while. Doing other activities, even if just for a quick reprieve can help replenish creativity. Go for a walk or sit under a tree for lunch.
Improved interpersonal relationships
Once you stop staring at your smartphone and actually make the effort to reconnect with your friends, family and even coworkers you would be surprised at the increased connection. We spend so much time sending emails, texts, and messages, stepping back and having a good old fashioned eye to eye conversation can do you a world of good by reducing stress as well as eye strain.
Monarch Wellness offers programs such as beach yoga to help you ground and reconnect. To learn more please visit www.monarchwellness.net
We live in a people pleasing world. We are taught from a very young age to conform to societal standards of acceptability. We are systematically assigned lessons based on our current age and what we are slated to learn and shuffled through years of education and indoctrination in order and in hopes that we come out the other side of it, productive members of society.
It is left as the responsibility of the parents to encourage their child’s uniqueness to grow and shine. But what if you didn’t happen to grow up in a family where your individuality was encouraged?
What if you made it all the way to adulthood, and still aren’t sure who you are? It sure makes life a lot more difficult.
Getting to really know, appreciate and love yourself is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself. Taking time alone or setting aside days to focus on your own mental and emotional health is vital.
We are, after all, the one and only person who is absolutely guaranteed to be with us our whole life. No matter who comes or go, acquaintance, friend, family member or love, you remain. The more you know and genuinely accept and like yourself the more comfortable you will be not only with yourself but in the presence of others.
Living a happy joyous existence can only happen if you are true to yourself. Follow your feelings, beliefs, and ideals. Say yes when you mean yes, and no when you really mean no. Live without fear of the judgment of others knowing the opinion that really counts in the end when it comes you your life, is you.
You don’t have to make the journey alone. Monarch Wellness offers a whole array of classes geared towards self-exploration and self-growth. Their caring guides and therapists offer the chance to safely explore and push the bounds to test and really find out who you are at a core level.
If you are interested in learning more please visit www.monarchwellness.net and peruse their class schedule.
Aromatherapy may be thought of by most as a luxury spa experience when it should be considered a daily practice that can heal, solidify and strengthen your health.
Aromatherapy is the art of using of aromatic plant extracts and essential oils to boost health and or mood.
They are often used in massage, applied directly or mixed with carrier oils. They may also be dripped into an infuser allowing the molecules to be released into the air so they can be breathed in. Both can have relaxing and purifying effects.
Essential oils are more than relaxing, they are “essential” – Dual meaning: They are the essence of the plant itself but they can also be an essential part of health. Modern medicine’s roots stem from plant life. Many plants are inherently medicinal in nature, with each holding different properties.
There are three ways to utilize essential oils to boost your health.
- Topical application: oils can be applied directly to the skin or mixed with carrier oils such as coconut, sesame, almond or other natural oils for easier spread or longer use such as massage. Taking a bath or a sitz bath is also a wonderful option. Simply add a few drops of your favorite essential oils to a tub, sit back and relax. (please do note not to use “hot” oils such as Oregano, Cinnamon, Clove, Thyme or Cassia as they may irritate sensitive skin. If an oil ever feels too hot and produces a burning sensation due to sensitivity it can be neutralized almost immediately with coconut oil.)
- Inhalation: Oils can be breathed in. Some are molecularly small enough to actually cross the blood brain barrier (the goal of medications) to have the most impact. This method goes directly into the lungs and to the brain. Simply opening the bottle or vial releases potent wonderful vapors. For increased effects try steaming with essential oils. Get a bowl of hot water, drop in several drops of the oil desired and place a towel over your head. Lean into the bowl keeping your face a safe distance of at least a few inches from the hot water. Breathe deeply and allow the steam to penetrate your skin and bronchial tubes.
Oils each have their own healing properties so it is important to do your research or contact a qualified Aromatherapist for therapeutic suggestions.
Essential oils are: Antibacterial, Antiviral, Antimicrobial, and can be AntiCarcinogenic. They are molecularly small enough to get inside of human cells and help clear toxins and even heal damaged DNA (in the case of Frankincense oil).
This is a basic list of some of the ailments essential oils are said to help with. This is by no means a full list. If you would like more information please contact Monarch Wellness www.monarchwellness.net
Whether you work for a small company or a large conglomerate, bonding on some level with your coworkers is important. Seeing each other as more than just another employee and as a fellow human being can up the happiness factor in the workplace.
Companies that encourage interpersonal interaction have a higher retention rate because the employees feel more connected and more invested in the success and future of that business.
How do they achieve this?
Letting your employees know that you value them and that they are important as individuals is important. No one likes to feel replaceable. We all spend an average of 40 hours a week at work. That is the majority of our time. In order for it to be an overall positive experience stress has to be managed, positivity and productivity encouraged and it helps to be working towards common goals.
Taking time out of the busy work schedule to help connect and reconnect your staff is well worth the effort in the long run. It helps to maintain and cultivate happier more satisfied workers who will be far more likely to stay long term in their positions with the company.
Monarch Wellness provides customizable workshops in accordance with your company’s goals. Visit http://monarchwellness.net/corporate-wellness/ or call (239) 231-3208 for more information or to schedule an event.
Kids look to their parents to see who they are as new little people in this world. Their parent’s feelings, actions, and word greatly help to shape the way that that child views themselves. Ask yourself – What am I teaching my child?
Do your words build them up or tear them down?
Are they encouraging?
Are they loving?
Are they supportive?
Do you discipline when needed with a fair hand?
There are no black and white/right or wrong hard lines on parenting. No two parents are the same. There are some guidelines though that should be followed if you wish to raise a self-thinker with good self-esteem.
- Don’t coddle – By doing everything for them they cannot learn to be self-sufficient. It may be tempting to help them do things like solve puzzles or homework by doing it for them, but by doing that it teaches dependence on you and instills a feeling of “maybe I am not smart enough.”
- Don’t talk down to your kids – regardless of age, kids are far from stupid. Being condescended to feels bad and degrading as an adult and it is no different for a child. Speak to them at their level but like an equal.
- Let them answer for themselves – If someone asks “Oh, how old is Billy?” Even if they directed that question to you, turn it over to them. Look at your child and ask “She is asking you a question. How old are you?” – Unless they are very young, they know how old they are. They are proud to answer questions and know answers. Allow them to show off what they have learned.
- Teach them to stand up for themselves – Bullying has become an enormous problem in recent years, but what we need to accept is that it isn’t just the bullies who are at fault. While of course, you do not ever want to teach children that fighting is the answer to problems, teaching them that no one has the right to treat them badly and that it is perfectly ok to stand up and defend yourself is key. It instills a core belief of “I am worthy.”
- Teach them empathy and kindness towards others – being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and show compassion is vital to being a good person who feels on a core level good about themselves. The best way to teach this, and possibly the only way to teach this, is to lead by example.
The child based programs at Monarch Wellness help boost self-esteem and teach kids interpersonal skills. To learn more please visit www.monarchwellness.net
Everyone deals with grief differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and every death will affect you differently based on the relationship and connection you had with that person. The impact can also vary based on the circumstances surrounding the passing. Sudden or traumatic deaths can be far harder to handle than the natural aging process.
The most common responses to grief happen in stages.
Shock/Denial – The news of your loved one’s passing feels surreal, almost like a dream you cannot seem to wake up from. It becomes a slow seeping in of truth over time, a protection method so that the full impact doesn’t slam you all at once.
Anger – Anger covers pain. Anger is easier to deal with than the depth of pain loss can cause. Anger may come at the loss itself, at doctors, God, family members, or others. Anger may even be directed at the self. Anger is something to hold on to in many cases…the connection of anger can feel better than no connection at all. Don’t rush it, just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, and know it will eventually fade and you will be able to move forward.
Depression – Depression usually comes when you take a good realistic look at the present moment. The present without your former friend or family member. The reality of the absence settles in and your heart hurts. Life may seem meaningless and you may feel lost. Antisocial time is often needed for recuperation. Allow it, but be extra gentle to yourself – do something each day that makes you feel even just a little bit better. Even if it’s just making a cup of tea you really enjoy.
Acceptance – This is not to be confused with being “ok with” the what happened. No one is ever OK with loss. Acceptance is more about acknowledging the reality of what has taken place and finding some semblance of peace in it. This may come and go, good and bad days. Over time the good days will outnumber the bad. We can begin to live again at this stage, remembering the good with that person and allowing the grief and missing to fade.
These are not the only emotions you may experience and there is no regimented order. Allowing yourself to be genuine and feel whatever may come up for you is the quickest path to healing. Grief may be experienced through major life events other than death as well. Divorce, ending of a close relationship, loss of a job or home – all may be felt as loss in much the same way.
Monarch Wellness offers a whole array of classes and private sessions geared towards self-exploration and self-growth.
To learn more please visit:
http://monarchwellness.net/sessions/trauma-recovery-program/ or call (239) 231-3208.
So, I couple years ago, I came across a yoga class called “Laughter Yoga”. I knew at some point, I had to check it out. My first thought was “what is THIS?” I mean, with all the different styles of yoga out there today, I have to say it had me curious, to say the […]
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