Do you feel like you just can’t get everything done that you need to?
Are you tired even though you get plenty of sleep?
Do you ever feel like you simply just can’t catch up on life in general?
We all go full steam ahead at an abnormally fast pace these days. Work, school, kids, friends, meetings, appointments, errands, obligations, it can take its toll over time.
Taking time for ourselves has somehow become taboo and labeled as selfish. Here is the big news folks, it’s not! If you constantly burn the candle at both ends, do you know what you end up with? – A big unhappy glob of melted wax and a charbroiled wick.
This leaves a good portion of the country feeling this way and turning to doctors to figure out why they are depressed, exhausted, or even worse, sick. The answer should be obvious – we are not taking care of ourselves.
Communication is easier and faster than ever these days. Messaging, texting, smart phones, email, you are virtually always reachable. This is a double-edged sword. When we got these devices, none of us wanted to be at everyone’s beckon call, yet that seems to be where we are headed. We hear the beep, blip, ding or other sound effect signaling that we have a message and we jump. We have literally become Pavlov’s dog.
How many messages do you get a day? How many texts? They add up to us jumping constantly to look at our devices. You see it out in public, people in restaurants and parks, heads cocked down staring at phones – even when they are with friends. We are so busy taking pictures and posting, commenting, liking and sharing that we are not living in the moment other than through those little screens.
This false electronic reality is fun, entertaining and informative, but it is also time-consuming and draining.
If you are feeling burnt out, take just one day and do a Technology Fast.
- Put your phone away
- Put your tablets away
- Turn off social media accounts
- Take the day off of work or do this on a weekend
- Let friends and family know who might worry that you are doing this. Oddly, you may be met with some opposition, ignore it. This isn’t about them, it’s about you – your peace of mind and health
- Spend time doing whatever makes you happy that does not involve the above mentioned electronic devices. – go for a walk, clean your house, lunch with a friend, take a nap, meditate, go to the beach, spend time outside, you name it.
It may be hard to break the habit of reaching for your phone to check what’s going on with everyone, but I guarantee by mid-day you will be feeling more energized.
If you are in the Naples, FL area, come take a class at Monarch Wellness. We have a wide array of classes to help you relax and center. www.monarchwellness.net
When clients ask me about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a treatment developed by Marsha M. Linehan that offers assistance to those affected by anxiety, depression, self-harm, trauma, and substance abuse, I educate them on the four modules of treatment. These are, mindfulness, emotion regulation, interpersonal regulation and distress tolerance or radical acceptance. During our first […]
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The concepts of forgiveness and allowance are frequently intermixed and mixed up entirely. Throughout our lives, there is no doubt that people in our worlds will put us through trials and tribulations. Some to the point where it will make us incredibly angry and push us to our limits.
When someone hurts you, the easy thing is to transfer that anger and hurt into hate. To want to hurt them back and make them feel as badly as you do. The saying “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” holds true. Hurting someone back, though temporarily gratifying, isn’t going to fix anything, and possibly make things worse.
You will hear people ask “How can you ever forgive?” The simple answer is “because I want inner peace.”
Making the choice to forgive someone is a big step. It means letting go of the resentment and pain. It may seem hard to forgive someone when viewed as a gift. After all, you are mad, why would you want to do anything for them? The thing is, when looked at in the proper light, it isn’t for them at all. Forgiveness is for the forgiver not the forgiven.
Forgiving someone does not need to be intermingled with allowing the person to continue with their actions going forward or even allowing them to remain in your life at all.
You can forgive and allow them to remain if they are truly sorry and you feel the connection can be salvaged on both ends or if you don’t believe that to be the case, you can choose to not allow it any further.
Carrying a heavy weight around for the rest of your life every time you think of that event or that person only serves to hurt you, not them. Put it down and walk away.
Monarch Wellness can help. Visit www.monarchwellness.net to view their services and classes.
Often discussed are the spiritual and emotional benefits of meditation. But what about the actual scientific proof of how it can benefit you in your physical body?
While the medical community all agrees that meditation should not be used as a stand-alone therapy or replacement for medical care, even the Mayo Clinic believes that it can be a useful addition to other treatments and may help with:
- Sleep problems
- Anxiety disorders
- Heart disease
- High blood pressure
There have been over 3,000 scientific studies on the benefits of meditation. Some of the benefits shown are:
- Improved immunity
- Higher energy levels
- Reduced blood pressure
- Inflammation reduction on a cellular level
- Asthma relief
- Helps with PMS and Menopause
- Mood stabilization
- Better deeper sleep
- Waking to feel more rested
- Helps to treat depression
- Decreased anxiety
- Reduced alcohol and substance abuse
- Improved focus
- Improved ability to deal with stress
- Increased creativity
- Helps manage the effects of trauma
- Reduce metabolic syndrome
Neuroscience experiments have shown physical evidence of gray matter concentration in the brain in areas involved in learning and memory as well as regulating emotions, perspective and sense of self. Long-term meditators showed enhanced gamma waves in the brain.
Meditation can be beneficial spiritually, physically and emotionally. It takes some practice, but very little time out of your day and requires no equipment – just a comfortable quiet space and the willingness to take time out for yourself.
To learn more about meditation and check out our schedule of classes please visit www.monarchwellness.net
For more information on the health effects please visit:
The daily grind can wear us down. Routine, day in and day out, kids, spouses, family, friends, social commitments, work engagements, pets to care for – it is no doubt busy and at times overwhelming. Life in American society has never been faster paced.
Technology keeps us tethered to one another more than ever before in previous generations. Gone are the days of letter writing, even phone calls are waning. The convenience of emails, texts, and messages delivered and responded to in an instant are the new norm.
These advancements are amazing and wonderful, but they also keep you at the beacon call of pretty much anyone who has your account or phone number. We have all become Pavlov’s dog. We hear a beep and we react.
The question becomes – Are you taking time for yourself?
It is vital that time away from these devices is taken. Time to relax, breathe, and recenter. Not answering right away can cause some people concern. Let them know that you will be away from your devices and unable to answer for a bit.
Go for a walk
Take a bike ride
Take a yoga class
Get a massage
Walk or run the beach
Take a nap
Read a book
It has been said many times that in order to be of any use to anyone else you must put your own happiness, health and vitality first. Taking time to yourself is not selfish, it is kind. We spend so much time worrying about others in our lives we often overlook ourselves.
Monarch Wellness offers yoga, meditation, restorative sound and other amazing classes to help you get back to center again and stay there. Visit www.monarchwellness.net for times and schedules.
Love is the strongest bond and the highest vibratory level. During the course of our lifetime, we have encounters and form relationships with many different people. This includes family, friends, and lovers. All of them are loved in their own way.
The list of reasons relationships may come to an end is virtually endless and incredibly personal. Sometimes separation is unavoidable, however painful. No two relationships are the same as no two humans are the same, therefore what you experience with someone will be unlike anything that can be replicated.
Though you may miss the cherished connection you had, life circumstances and behavior may dictate that divide stand. Life continues, down two separate paths. The question remains, is that love ever really gone?
It has been said there is a fine line between love and hate. The real dichotomy would be love and indifference. Both love and hate are strong emotions, whether you push or pull against something you are giving it attention and in turn, keeping it anchored in your mind and in your life.
Sometimes it is just plain hard to really let go even when you truly believe it is in your own best interest and possibly even the best interest of the other person.
Letting go doesn’t have to mean the relinquishing of the love you feel for that person. Loving another person unconditionally means true acceptance on every level, even when there may not be “like” or tolerance left, there still can be love.
Allow it to be, try to appreciate it for what it is, and do your best to switch focus to the positive working aspects of your life and the people are you choosing to stay in the cast of characters that is your life.
Monarch Wellness offers sessions and classes that can help you to let go of the past and on to living a fuller more joyful life. Visit www.monarchwellness.net to learn more or sign up.
Psychotherapy over the years has had a stigma attached to it as if patients must have “something wrong” with them if they need to see a psychotherapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. This is not necessarily the case. Living a human existence means that at some point in your life you are very likely to feel overwhelmed. Talking to someone who is qualified to help you sort out life issues doesn’t mean somethings wrong with you. It means you are making a healthy decision to progress.
Talk therapy does more than just give you someone who will listen, it helps you to work towards solutions to problems. It often involves tracking your moods, thoughts, and even actively working to push you out of your comfort zone.
Trying to think things through on your own can sometimes leave you lost in your own thoughts and more frustrated than ever. It can be highly beneficial to have a therapist to act as a guide. Someone who is an uninvolved 3rd party can see things more clearly and in turn help you to remove the filters you view your life, through.
Therapy can help you release the past, concentrate more effectively on the present and work towards building the future you really want.
The goals of Talk Therapy are to help you:
- Understand yourself better
- Set goals and reach them
- Overcome fears
- Halt insecurities
- Deal better with stress
- Help heal from traumatic events
- Realize that you are not your mood swings
- Appreciate who you are at core level
- Identify triggers
- Improve relationships
- Establish a daily routine
- Develop a plan for coping with upheaval
- Understand why things set you off
- End addictive habits such as drinking, drugs, sex addiction or excessive retail therapy
Deciding to seek help is a great gift you can give to yourself. Here in Naples, FL Monarch Wellness is a wonderful resource. We offer group sessions and one on one counseling. Please visit www.monarchwellness.net to learn more.
It is the human condition to want to help. It is kind and proper to do your best to be good to others. It is in everyone’s best interest. – Or, is it?
Helping others helps our humanity. We feel good when we truly perform gestures of kindness. The problem comes in when that kindness is taken advantage of. When you end up with certain individuals in your life that come to expect you to constantly help. They can begin to cross that line from needing an occasional favor to needing and worse expecting you to be there at the drop of the hat every time something goes wrong.
You become their lifeline, their knight in shining armor.
It can be time-consuming, emotionally draining, physically draining, and even push the limits of their life taking time away from and precedence over your own. Learning to say “no” becomes vital to your own wellbeing. The problem is that with these types of friendships or relationships along with saying “no”, often comes guilt. You want the best for that person and it was in your realm of possibility to help them (again). But this time you didn’t. How do you justify that? – Not to them, but to yourself.
It is important to think about things from a different perspective. When it is all about them, yes the perspective is “feel bad” “you should have helped”. But in reality how good of a friend is that person being to you by expecting you to help take care of their life issues all of the time? Is that kind on their part, is it thoughtful, does it take into account your feelings?
The answer is No.
The best way to keep balance in any friendship or relationship is to establish balance and boundaries. When it’s all give and no take on one side the energy and the friendship are not balanced. Constantly trying to save someone, no matter how much you love them not only wears you out, it actually disempowers that person.
If you need to regain some balance back in your life Monarch Wellness can help. We offer a wide array of classes and one on one sessions. Please visit www.monarchwellness.net to learn more or schedule.
We can reach points in our lives where we feel stagnant and hopeless. It may feel like no one can help and you have reached a place you can’t make it back from.
Our lives are a series of choices much like a choose your own adventure novel. Some choices we regret and some are thrust upon us by others and by the course of life itself. There is no magic rewind button. What we do have is the power to decide to accept responsibility for where we are today and to make whatever changes are necessary in order to take control of our lives back.
Needing help is viewed as weakness by some. The truth is it takes massive strength to ask for help. Finding someone who can help you to sort out your thoughts and feelings and work towards allowing the release of all that no longer serves your best interest is invaluable.
“As within, so without” – Transforming your life is possible. It starts with you.
Finding the right avenue isn’t always easy. Monarch Wellness would love to help. They offer a wide array of classes and private sessions. Skilled caring practitioners and counselors head these groups and classes giving each and every client the personalized attention that they deserve.
If you are in the Naples, Florida area and interested in learning more, please visit www.monarchwellness.net for a list of classes and services offered.
Divorce is never a walk in the park. It’s more like a trek through a dark jungle of contorted emotions and fears without any light to find your way or see your truth. Regardless of whether or not you initiated the breakup, you feel a sense of disconnection, disruption, and abject terror.
You wonder if you’ll ever feel good again
Will the see-saw of moods and run-away thoughts ever again allow you to sleep soundly or think clearly? You question your own self-worth. Will you be able to navigate the world alone and manage to raise your kids? Uncertainty takes over. Will real love ever be possible? The deafening inner noise increases your worries and camouflages your path.
You’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, sick to your stomach or your brain is unfocused and foggy. But the effects are temporary. You’re evolving. You’re on your way to a mega-change that will connect you to a better you. You just don’t realize it yet. Let’s face it, divorce is traumatic and as such it causes alarming apprehension.
Reprogram Your Mind
To change the experience from feeling debilitating, you have to change your mind. What does that mean? It means to become mindful and aware of your negative thoughts and learn to let them go. It’s okay to feel sad—or even angry—but hyper-focusing on those episodes will expand and increase them. Don’t dwell on the grief. Instead, interrupt painful thoughts by regularly using two statements. Repeat as often as you can throughout the day (and I’ll explain why as you keep reading):
- I’m confident, strong and energetic and I’m improving my life every day.
- I love and accept myself and I calmly observe my emotions and feelings with mindfulness
How positive declarations work
They create constructive visualizations of how you can see yourself. Breakups trigger blinding judgments of failure resulting in low self-esteem and self-criticisms which contribute to agonizing depression. By saying these statements as soon as you awaken in the morning and as often as possible throughout the day, you influence a more expanded view of yourself even in the midst of crisis.
You are not your thoughts and it’s helpful to detach from them and connect to your higher self. Practice, practice, practice! As you do, you’ll find a treasure trove of love and be able to tap into your greatest potential.
Peggy Sealfon is a Personal Development Coach who spends her time helping people overcome life’s big and small challenges. Order her best-selling book, Escape From Anxiety—Supercharge Your Life With Powerful Strategies from A to Z.
Author: Peggy Sealfon